Introverted personality.
Hmmmmmmmmm, it's kind of a broad definition, and one that is highly misunderstood. Everyone that falls into this category has some similarities, but also has their own unique take on it because everyone is an individual. The one thing that we all do have in common is that you extroverts do not now, and probably never will, completely understand why we do things or handle things/people/situations the way that we do. This is just simply my take on it to try and get understanding instead of offending. I'm normally not too terribly concerned about offending, but............
I've been described as blunt, quiet, loud-mouthed, not a people-person, edgy, angry, and sometimes cold-hearted. Now, while some of these may be true depending on the situation, it's not always true and some of my behavior I think may be misunderstood as one of the above. I've been told that I walk quickly, often without smiling and with what appears to be a chip on my shoulder.........but, also that once they got to know me it was a whole different story. And that.........does take some time. When I'm quiet around people it's not because I'm trying to be rude, I tend to just listen. Take it all in. Then I will decide how open, if at all, I choose to be around you. If I like you, trust you, and generally get a good vibe from you you won't be able to shut me up. If I don't, you may never see me again.
Why? Because I don't know you. And if I don't know you, I don't trust you, and I'm not comfortable around you. I've always preferred to have a few select close friends rather then a large group of people I don't know very well. Maybe because I've been screwed over, betrayed, taken advantage of, and hurt by those I allowed into my life and thought I could trust and count on, maybe just because as I've gotten older I've gotten wiser, who knows, but it's the way it is. I don't like being in large groups of people. I loathe large crowds, especially when it's a large crowd of strangers. I may enjoy a night out for a few hours with a group of familiar faces.......but only for a short time. After that I need my escape. To my home. To familiar territory. To sit in quiet to recharge my batteries because to me, being in a large group of people (especially strangers) is mentally exhausting.
Sometimes I don't reach out on my own, but it's not because I don't care, it's because I don't speak up all the time, but if you need something, all you have to do is ask if I haven't offered. If I like you, I'd give you the shirt off my back if you needed it. Which is why when someone I once thought to be close to me isn't there for me when I could use them the most breaks my heart. I'm not necessarily going to come to you, pointing my finger, and saying you fucked up and I'm mad, but I'm definitely going to change my relationship with you because you hurt me, and I don't like that. I may still take your call, answer a question, say hello once in awhile, but I won't forget that you made me cry.
Crying.......yes, I do it. Probably more then you think because I do my hardest to avoid doing in front of others. Strength in front of others is simply what I try to do. I always viewed weakness as vulnerability and to me that is a threat. Rest assured though behind every "I'm fine, really" is a few tears that will be shed when in private.
Personal space.......I cherish mine. I don't like to be touched, hugged, patted, etc. This is my space, that is yours. I won't go into yours, please don't come into mine. If I see you crying please don't mistake my distance as cold-hearted. I want to listen to you, lend an understanding ear, offer any advice or words of comfort I may have to offer, but chanes are I won't be hugging you. It's nothing personal, it's simply my personality.
I don't coo over babies, I don't ooh and aah over a new haircut or your childs most recent accomplishment, and I don't pretend to have sympathy when someone does something stupid causing them either emotional or physical pain. If I think you did something stupid, I'll tell you. If you need something, you may ask me to get it for you, I may throw it at you after I fetch it, but I'm damn sure not going to say "ooooohhhhhhh, poor baby" when you're capable of taking care of yourself.
I turn down invites to parties, cook-outs, and other events for a quiet evening in simply because that's where my comfort level lies. It's nothing personal against the person that gave the invitation, it's just me being comfortable being me. It's easy for people who are not introverts to think that I'm being rude or anti-social or even lashing out at them specifically because I say "thanks, but no thanks" and it really isn't anything even close. It's me refusing to put myself in a situation I know I'm going to be uncomfortable in just to please others.
Please don't confuse my silence or distance for weakness or ignorance. It is neither. I've overcome a lot of obstacles in my life and been through more bull shit that could fit into one evening of idle chit-chat over glasses of wine, and that has made me a very strong person. I would probably surprise you with some of what I'm capable of mentally and emotionally. Just because I choose not to broadcast it to everyone that has ever crossed my path does not mean it doesn't exist. I know it's there, and those that have taken the time to be a part of my life know it.
My husband understands me even though he's the complete opposite. My best friend understands me. My mom understands me. Fellow introverts understand me. Extroverts do not understand me or anyone else with an introverted personality. We all have our own way of living, but the general description is we simply like to be left alone when we want to be left alone. It's not directed at anyone inparticular, or meant to offend anyone, it's because it's just how we're comfortable. You may not understand it, but it is possible to accept and respect things and people even if you don't necessarily understand them. We can respect your life choices, it's not that difficult for you to do the same.
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